Many of the writings you'll find in this blog Diving Deeper come out of crises points in my life. Writing has shown me that these can be transmuted into 'opportunities disguised as loss'. This is the resolution I am often seeking, and I hope my sharing will inspire the same in you.
Writings done immediately after an event and those done months or years later will differ - the first are redolent with sharp pain or murky with the fog of confusion, while the second will have either the cool calm of reflection or the dark wound of bitterness. In a way, it is all the 'truth'.
Recently, I came across a delightful book from the 70s by Sam Keen and Anne Valley Fox called Telling Your Story : A Guide to Who You Are and Who You Can Be. The book's dedication reads: 'To the outlaws among us who are living their own stories'.
I rather like the idea of being an outlaw. Robin Hood the quintessential outlaw and re-distributor of treasures, hid out in Sherwood Forest near Nottingham in England. I have been on retreat in a Greenwood Forest deep in the Missouri Ozarks. This blog is my way of sharing the booty.
Here is an extract from 'Telling Your Story' about crisis and the hero's journey:
The practice of ritualizing the standard divisions between the stages of life reflects an ancient wisdom about the care and management of crisis and trauma.... If crisis is taken as a sign of sickness or disintegration the transitions will be accompanied by anxiety, loneliness, and shame. If they are seen as signs of growth they may be experienced with excitement and pride....Perhaps the clearest indication of the dignity pre-modern societies afforded the transition crises is in the widespread tales of the journey of the hero....The story is told in many idioms but always the hero forsakes comfort, security, and certainty and plunges into the dark habitation of the powers of evil. While in the underworld he fights with a demon or devil, and is often crucified. But eventually he rises from the dead and returns to the ordinary world with enlightenment and power. In the hero legends the promise is clear: any person who dares the radical descent into the chaos that lies beneath the veneer of personality and civilization has chance of returning with a whole soul.
[From Telling Your Story by Sam Keen and Anne Valley Fox, 1973, Signet Books, p. 86-87.]
In the outline description of my first attempt at new autobiography (the novel-memoir), I wrote 'Leo's journey unfolds like that of a befuddled Parsival on a search for the unspecified Grail'. Clearly, I saw my story as a hero's journey. You can read more about that elsewhere on this site.
Meanwhile, here is an example of part of the exercise which follows the above paragraph from 'Telling Your Story'. I encourage you to think of trying it out.
After you have done an initial outline of your autobiography put it aside and do another that uses entirely different events, key persons, and time scales. Turn your story inside out; try a new way of punctuating your time. If your life story has the feel of a tragedy flip it over and make it a comedy; if it sounds like a romance change the tone slightly so that it is ironic; if it has a pathetic ring turn it into a hero tale.
I did something like this quite naturally when I was trying to process a dramatic and traumatic event in my own life. The first person who read it, commented that I had a wry sense of humor that he assumed was 'English' (since I am English). Perhaps I do or perhaps it was just a survival tactic.
Now, more than a year later, maybe I have come to a place in my understanding where I could write the same story from the points of view of the other participants. If my 'imagination' can acheive sufficient personal distancing and compassion then there may be great healing in this exercise.
